I must say that after moving to a city in another country at the middle of a course has proved to be quite challenging. As my expectations had been unrealistic, I have been met with a near constant dread of going though this final year alone.
But that is not too far from how things have since been. I tried connecting with my flatmates, tried doing a bunch of different activities with very different people and even met a whole lot of people doing various courses at those things. In spite of it all, I have struggled to form lasting connections. Luckily, two of my flatmates have been supportive at this time of crisis but even in this second semester, which is also my final one, my struggle to find a place or to create one keeps on going. One rejection after another and I am missing more than ever the people who used to reach out to me to ask me how I had been doing.
I left friends who used to ask me whether I was free to hang out to encounter strangers who never do. I tried to be the kind of friend who does but that led me nowhere. But I am not bothered by having to take initiatives; it’s to the contrary! I enjoy taking them but when none of those actually lead to anything and people often do not even try to reciprocate, you soon run out that drive to keep on trying. But things must be getting better or at least I am getting better at handling it.